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Evil Makes You Ugly

Close to Home

Let me dig a little deeper into FLILKs (Female Leaders I’d Like to Kiss), aka: HOTT and FLILSs (Female Leaders I’d Like to Slap), aka: NOT.

The Virginia Senate, for years a firewall against efforts to restrict abortion, today is poised to pass a bill to require that pregnant women undergo an ultrasound and get a chance to see the image before having an abortion.

FLILS - not hot
FLILS - Not hot. All that stone throwing seems to have done nothing for your biceps.

That legislation from FLILS Sen. Jill Holtzman Vogel, R-Fauquier County, would amend Virginia’s informed consent law to make women undergo ultrasound imaging to determine the gestational age of the fetus.

Slightly dismayed, confused, and legitimately downright pissed off, FLILK Sen. Janet Howell, D-Fairfax County, tried to add “a little gender equality” to the bill by introducing an amendment that would have required men to undergo a rectal exam and cardiac stress test prior to obtaining erectile dysfunction medication.

FLILK - hott
FLILK - hott. Soft features, strong virtue. And a good sense of humor to boot.

“[The bill] is requiring [women] to have unnecessary medical procedures, it’s adding to the cost and it’s opening them up for emotional blackmail,” she told her colleagues from the Senate floor. “And I was upset because it’s disrespectful of doctors. It’s forcing them to perform procedures they don’t think is necessary.”

She says she got the idea for the amendment after watching an erectile dysfunction drug ad which listed the pill’s myriad side effects.

“So, I said, it’s only fair, that if we’re going to subject women to unnecessary procedures, and we’re going to subject doctors to having to do things that they don’t think is medically advisory, well, Mr. President, I think we should just have a little gender equity here,” Howell said.

Unfortunately, history is sometimes on the side of the evil and ugly. The amendment was ultimately defeated by a relatively narrow margin of 21 to 19. Read more about Virginia restricting women’s rights like it was going out of style and for Pete’s sake, if you live in VA call your elected officials.

(Source: tumblr.thedailywh.at)

Ann Coulter

When recently talking with my really attractive, intelligent, and witty friend Mariah, I realized that so far EMYU has solely focused on the evil ugly males of our universe. This doesn’t mean that evil and ugly females aren’t lurking around the corner. Take Ann Coulter, for example. Some say that the jury is out on her looks - come on. Really, seriously? Come on. 

Not much commentary is necessary on the evil portion of Coulter’s existence. It’s a bipartisan issue - girlfriend is psycho. I’ll leave you with two of her own quotes, followed by one from another pretty well-known evil-doer.

"I think [women] should be armed but should not vote…women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it…it´s always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care." - AC 2001

What further proof do we need that this chick isn’t human? How about that infamous comment she made about the wives of victims of 9/11 who dared to speak out against the policies of George W. Bush?

“These self-obsessed women seem genuinely unaware that 9-11 was an attack on our nation and acted like as if the terrorist attack only happened to them. They believe the entire country was required to marinate in their exquisite personal agony. Apparently, denouncing bush was part of the closure process. These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband’s death so much.” - AC 2006

Finally, the summary. I couldn’t say it better, really.

"Ann, listen close, because this is important: YOU ARE NOT A SERIOUS JOURNALIST. All anyone has to do is check the sloppy, misleading footnotes in your hate-filled books and they will see that you’re a bald-faced liar who doesn’t have an ounce of respect for your readers or the truth. I’m asking you, for the sake of our country: PLEASE STOP YOUR STUPID LITTLE SIDE SHOW." -Satan

Evil Rat(ko) Mladic

Ratko Mladic (henceforth called, “The Rat”) is a former oversized wooly worm Bosnian Serb general who orchestrated two of the bloodiest events in the Bosnian war - the Siege of Sarajevo where 10,000 people were killed between 1992-1996 and the Srebrenica Genocide of July 1995 where more than 8,000 Bosnian Muslim men and boys were massacred.

Of course, prior to ordering the extermination of 8,000 Bosniaks, The Rat insisted that no harm would be done to those who were being expelled to the UN “safe area” of Srebrenica.

Taking his namesake to heart, The Rat went into hiding and was shacked up with his cousin Branislav until May 2011 when he was arrested by two dozen Serbian special police officers and extradited to the ICTY in the Hague. He’s an old man now, uglier than ever before, and one of his arms is reportedly paralyzed due to a series of strokes over the last 15 years.

A pretty sick P.S.: The Rat’s daughter Ana killed herself in 1994 when she was 23 - with her dad’s favorite pistol. I have to admit that it’s hard to know what I would do if my pops was an infamous genocidaire. Before his extradition to the Hague Mladic requested to visit his daughter’s grave and his wish was granted. Of course, the same is not true for all the families of the victims of Mladic’s extermination.

For more than you would ever want to know about The Rat & his trial, check out Michael Dobbs’ Foreign Policy blog, Mladic in the Hague.

Ba’surely you’re not as hot as you think you are’ al-Assad

Now often evil people don’t want to recognize that they are ugly. They either honestly think they are hot stuff, or they are in narcissistic denial. Syria’s President al-Assad seems to be in major denial of a lot of things 1) how not-hot he is and 2) how much his people hate him 3) how long he can stay in power.

If you are going to put up posters of yourself - make sure you use a good photo - really this is as good as you get?

Now Assad hasn’t been seen in public a lot since the popular uprising began in March 2011 - and I’m sure it has to do with the fact that all the attacks against democratic protestors is taking a toll on his face. 

If you check out photos from Syria’s regime’s mouthpiece newspaper - SANA - most photos of Assad are taken from far away so you can’t see what he looks like. 

Also SANA has a history of using photoshop. See below:

So a guy who started looking like a weird gremlin with a squashed face or a statue on Easter Island

Could now be looking so much worse - he could be deteriorating and Syria is trying to hide it.

He could now be turning into the physical version of how the people of Syria see him:

2 years ago

Tagged with:  #syria  #assad  #ugly  #evil

Dr. Henry ‘wouldn’t want to Kiss’enger

Another icon of the EMUU world is Dr. Henry Kissinger. This mastermind of the Cold War was once quoted as saying “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac” - but I’m sorry dude - no matter how many countries you bombed, coups you staged, or kidnappings you orchestrated - I would still not do you.

How about when he was younger, when he was Nixon’s wench (or was Nixon his wench?)

Nope - still not hot. Gross, neither of them. Not even like nerd hot - just guys who really like being powerful and are ugly.

Farewell to the Kings

The world hawtness meter went way up this year with the death of Qaddafi and Kim Jung Il. I mean seriouslee, these guys were some of the ugliness and eviliest people on the planet. They have set the bar high for the remaining evil ugly people of the world. Don’t worry, we’ll get to their sons later.

Maybe they weren’t always monsters, maybe they didn’t have to grow up to be evil dictators. Here’s what they looked like when they were young. This should stand as a warning to all potential dictators out there: beware! Your evil crimes will melt your face!

case study:Burma

Burma is a prime example of evil making you ugly

Take ‘former’ dictator Than Shwe and his bros-4-life that keep the parties rollin in the jungle fortress/capital of Naypyidaw. These dudes love bling jewelry, missiles, matching outfits, and attacking civilians. Why would civilians need their land to farm? Puh-leez, how else would these generals have such awesome hats if they didn’t have pipelines to make them lots of dough?

Here is an example of a non-evil Burmese, just to show how the country is full of hotness potential

A soldier in the resistance army of the Karen ethnic group - hawt jungle soldier fighting to protect people from the old dudes above

Some genius with the BBC got this shot of Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe during his 85th birthday party in 2009. Mugabe is seen here stuffing one part of his 187 pound (85 kilogram) cake down his throat. In January of the same year, the World Food Program reported that the number of people without food was estimated at 6.9 million — more than half the population.

Some genius with the BBC got this shot of Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe during his 85th birthday party in 2009. Mugabe is seen here stuffing one part of his 187 pound (85 kilogram) cake down his throat. In January of the same year, the World Food Program reported that the number of people without food was estimated at 6.9 million — more than half the population.

Tagged with:  #Zimbabwe  #Mugabe  #dictator  #evil
Potato Head Dictators by Stephen Ives

Potato Head Dictators by Stephen Ives